It is very easy to name the sweet sides of japa — the soft life dreams, better pay, and a functioning society where things actually work. But what about the struggles nobody likes to talk about? I mean those dark sides of japa that don’t make it to Instagram? For many Nigerians who pack their bags in search of greener pastures, starting over in a foreign country comes with harsh realities that can dampen even the strongest spirit.
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First, there’s the loneliness. No one prepares you for the pain and emptiness of being thousands of miles away from home. The loud laughter of family visits, owambe and co is replaced by eerie silence. Friends you left behind move on without you, and no matter how often you FaceTime or WhatsApp call, it doesn’t quite feel the same, I mean you now have different realities. In those first few months, it’s easy to romanticise the life you left behind, even if it was tough. The homesickness hits when you least expect it — a song, a smell, or even a random craving for suya or roadside roasted corn and pear that no foreign grill can replicate, don’t say your oven does wonders because we all know if e no be roadside mama roast am, e no fit be like roadside corn.
Then there’s the hustle. It doesn’t matter what degree you earned back home; in many cases, it may not count for much. People who were once respected professionals in Nigeria find themselves starting from scratch abroad. Bankers become care assistants. Engineers wash dishes. That first job after relocating is often humbling, and the pride you carried from home takes a hit. The reality is, the hustle is harder than anyone tells you. It’s one thing to hear that you might need to “pay your dues,” and another thing to actually live it.
Money matters too. Yes, you earn in dollars, pounds, or euros, but the bills also come in those currencies. Rent alone can swallow half your salary. Back home, people think you’re living large, but the truth is, many japa folks are one emergency away from financial disaster. And let’s not even talk about the constant requests for roger from family and friends who think you don hammer.
Adapting to a new culture is another beast entirely. It’s not just the accents that sound foreign — it’s the entire way of life. You quickly realize that being African doesn’t automatically mean you fit in with the broader Black community. In some spaces, you’re viewed as an outsider, and the cultural misunderstandings cut both ways. You may find yourself explaining why you smiled at your neighbor’s children or why you greet elders a certain way, while trying not to lose your own identity in the process. And don’t get me started on the weather shock. Harmattan might be rough, but nothing prepares you for your first winter.
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Building new friendships is also no joke. In Nigeria, friendships often grow organically through family ties, church, or work. But abroad? It can feel like everyone is too busy or too cautious to let their guard down. You’ll cherish the few Nigerian friends you find because they understand your jokes without explanation. Still, forming a solid support system takes time and effort — something no one tells you when you’re daydreaming about relocating.
There’s also the mental toll of constantly feeling like you have to prove yourself. Whether it’s working twice as hard to get noticed at your job or defending your intelligence because of your accent, the pressure is real. In Nigeria, your achievements might have spoken for themselves, but abroad, you often start as a blank slate. It’s exhausting having to prove your worth over and over again, while also battling imposter syndrome.
Family life isn’t left out of the struggle. Couples who relocate together often face unexpected strains on their relationships. The power dynamics shift when both partners need to hustle equally hard, and child-rearing becomes a whole new ballgame without family to help. For those who left spouses or children behind, the emotional distance can create fractures that are hard to mend. Even simple things like celebrating birthdays and holidays can feel hollow without loved ones around.
And for those who eventually swallow the shame and decide to return home, reverse culture shock is real. After years abroad, adjusting back to the Nigerian way of life isn’t as smooth as you might think. Systems feel chaotic, conversations feel out of touch, and even your favorite foods may not taste quite the same. The feeling of being caught between two worlds is a unique kind of disorientation that many returnees silently battle.
Yet, despite all these struggles, many still cling to the hope that it will all be worth it. The promise of better opportunities, safer environments, and a brighter future keeps the dream alive. But make no mistake — the japa journey is not for the faint-hearted. It takes grit to start over in a new land, and the price of that fresh start is often heavier than anyone admits.
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So, the next time someone tells you about their plans to japa, wish them well, but also keep it real with them. The grass might look greener abroad, but it’s not watered without sweat, sacrifice, and silent struggles. The question is: Are you ready to pay the price?
Please note that this piece does not aim to discourage you from making that move to leave Nigeria. It rather highlights the struggles you may face and prepares you for the sacrifices that lie ahead.
